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2010-11-14 - 8:26 p.m.

It really is time I wrote in here again, but I'm never quite sure what I feel like writing.

I guess the most important thing coming up is going back to the specialist 6 months after Jo's blood clot was discovered (appointment is in a little over a week) to discuss whether Jo needs to continue taking Warfarin, and what precautions we need to take if we start trying to have kids.

I don't expect at this stage that we're going to be warned against having kids in the long term. Back in May they recommended we wait at least 6 months so that Jo could take Warfarin for that amount of time. If they take her off the Warfarin they'll want to monitor what that does initially, so maybe we'll need to wait 3 months or so if that's the case. If they want her to keep taking blood thinners then we're going to talk to them about switching to Heparin which you can take when you're pregnant (and given Jo's history I think it's almost a certainty that she'll be taking Heparin when she's pregnant as pregnancy significantly increases the risk of clotting).

If there's an increased risk of miscarriage due to either taking blood thinners or Jo's condition in general, we can work with that- all couples have to prepare themselves for that possibility anyway- the only thing I really don't want to hear is that they don't think we should try conceiving any time soon due to the risk to Jo. To quote Sneeze- "I'm thirty freaking three..." I have 3 living grandparents who are 86, 84 and 82 (I think). Even if we do have a kid when I'm 34, there's a good chance I'll never see any grandchildren into adulthood. There's a reasonable chance my parents won't see their grandchildren into adulthood. Maybe that shouldn't worry me- just focus on the immediate future. Maybe that's just a sign of our times. There's a lot of things we have better than our parents and grandparents, maybe not being around for as long for our grandchildren as our granparents were for us is just one area where the older generations have it better.

I guess Jo's health scare put things in perspective. Last year she had to convince me to go on our UK/Italy trip- our last hurrah. When we got married I was hoping to start trying to conceive in early 2010. Now I'm just glad Jo's got her health, and I'm kinda thinking if Jo does get the all clear (as much as she can- I'm sure her clotting levels will be regularly measured for the rest of her life) we should still wait until at least mid 2011, so that Jo can enjoy some sort of "return to normality" before our lives are completely changed. But then, it could take us years to conceive. There's not much point agonising over it until we see the specialist.

There's nothing new to write about work. It has its ups and downs. I've been doing this job for 3 years now and I see myself doing it for at least one more year. I often don't feel like I'm cut out for it, but at the same time I'm obviously not doing a terrible job.

I stress about managing our outside of work life. We've got a very active social life- it's no longer about staying out all night or drinking to excess (not saying either of those things never happen of course), but we don't tend to turn down social invitations unless we have something else on, and as a result, keeping the house clean and doing things like painting (if you look back to my late 2009 entries you'll see we finished painting the loungeroom about this time last year, and we haven't got to any other rooms since then) don't get done. We'll have people around on a Sunday and it will take until the next Sunday evening to get through all the washing up- and we have a dishwasher. I need to be able to stay back at work from time to time, I like to try to run at least once a week, we try to cook at home whenever we don't have something on, the weekly shopping trip feels like it involves days of planning and about 25% of the weekend. We have a box of stuff in the bedroom which needs to go to Vinnies and another that needs sorting through- they've been there at least since we got our wedding presents, if not longer. I know it's melodramatic, and I should feel lucky to be able to afford to have a very active social life, and buy fresh food, and own our apartment, but I usually don't think that pragmatically (or is that I'm thinking pragmatically but not ideally, to paraphrase Radiohead).

Y'all don't know what it's like- being male, middle class and... whatever :)


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