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2008-11-16 - 5:15 p.m.

I was having a minor freakout for about half of last week, after noticing a lump in my neck. The thing is, necks are boney and lumpy at the best of times, and what with the possibility of slightly enlarged lymph nodes if you're battling a cold, there has to be a point at which you figure it's not worth worrying about, and a point at which you figure it is.

So the problem was that this lump more or less appeared on Monday, but I couldn't confidently say that it was new- and not confirmation of lump or lumps that had been there for a month or more. So I knew that going to the doctor with that information was not going to lead to him putting my mind at ease- the responsible thing to do is assume the worst and try to disprove it. And sure enough after going to the medical centre on Tuesday after work I had a blood test to check if there was a problem with my thyroid (thyroid problems including cancers will cause elevated levels of particular hormones in your blood) and got a referral for an ultrasound (and "FNAC if appropriate", which I discovered involved a long thin needle). I booked in for an ultrasound after work on Thursday, which meant that for two days I was worried that I could have had some terrible disease and that I should have had it looked at earlier, and that I might have to have treatment that would affect wedding plans, and it made it terribly difficult to concentrate at work for those couple of days.

It turned out to be a cyst on my thyroid, which can be drained using the aforementioned long needle, but it doesn't have to be- I can leave it and see if it goes away, and only worry about the long needle if it doesn't, and even then it wouldn't be out of any major health concerns, more that it could get more uncomfortable or even painful.

I could start talking about having a facing-up-to-your-own-mortality moment but really, I'm just glad it turned out to be no big deal and I don't have to worry about it anymore.

I feel like I've had an action packed couple of weekends, which is not entirely surprising seeing as I already mentioned I virtually had no spare weekends between now and Christmas. I still feel like the wedding stuff could be progressing more quickly, but I'm under no illusions that we're not actually pretty organised, and though it will no doubt be a hectic 4-5 months, we'll get it all done and even if a few things don't go as planned it will be the day both of us imagine it will be.

So this weekend- Friday night I met Jo and some of her friends in North Sydney for what was part of a 3 day European Film Festival (one free film on the big screen per night). Why is it that whenever I have plans on a Friday night I can't seem to get out of work before 5.30pm? The rain was no big surprise given the weather forecast, but the film went ahead, and we stuck it out until the film started (though for a while I hid in the small marquee where they were giving out free sandwiches). About 20 minutes into the movie all of Jo's friends decided to go to the pub across the road, and Jo managed to talk me out of feeling guilty about going with them. She was quite content sitting in the park by herself watching the movie while the rest of us just weren't getting into it.

Yesterday we found ourselves engrossed at home in the classic midday movie ("Ben Hur") until it was time to go to Kim and Marty's BBQ at a little after 3pm. There was singstar, that sums it up (and anyone who knows me well enough knows I'm not saying that as a bad thing). Phoebe (on her L's) and Mark dropped us at the Townie at about 11.30pm where we (and Lucy) helped Meegs drown her sorrows until about 2am.

Today was the usual domestic duties day, and I'm off to cook a mean curry when I've finished writing this.

Last weekend felt very similar to this weekend, in that we started drinking during the afternoon on Saturday and didn't get home until after 2am. This time it was Phillipa's birthday drinks at the Beresford Hotel in Surry Hills, followed by fantastic (if expensive) Tapas down the road, followed by a couple of thoroughly enjoyable hours dancing at Spectrum (it's been a long time since we've been Indie Dancing). Then after a reasonable sleep in I met Lucy at the Newtown Festival for a few hours, or more to the point I met her at the Festival and we hastily retreated to the relative comfort of the Cooper's Arms and the Townie for a couple of hours.

Next Friday is Fordie's tribute gig. I keep thinking about all the things that happened around this time last year, and how they're all framed by that terrible moment in time when Lucy got the phone call. Julie had her baby the week before. Phillipa's birthday last year was at the Kirribilli Club and I was talking to Francis and Cam about Jo's engagement ring. Lucy and I picked it up from the jeweler on the night that we found about Fordie. We had Spanish after picking it up, and I had Sangria- something that didn't even cross my mind when we were jumping in my car and driving over to Fordie's. Kim's birthday party last year was on election night, and I'd been planning a big one, but instead I only drove over for a few hours with Nathan and hoped Lucy would be okay at home alone. Lucy was going to be working the election. I was on the bus to the Travel Doctor (I need to get one of my boosters in the next couple of weeks) thinking about Fordie even as I prepared for my 5 week end of year trip to Singapore, San Fran and Costa Rica.

Next Friday will be a spectacular way of showing Fordie just how much we haven't forgotten her.


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