2007-04-22 - 4:23 p.m.

I just applied for my 2 US jobs for April. You'll have to excuse my apparent lack of enthusiasm, it's just that it's getting harder and harder finding jobs worth applying for- and of course so far I haven't heard back from any of the ones I have applied for. 2 jobs per month is a bit of a goal Jo and I have set- we're both aware that there's no certainty about me going there, but if I manage to find 2 jobs per month to apply for then it's a step in the right direction.

My current job is partly to blame for the fact that it's hard to find jobs worth applying for. I really have it too good there. But I think that's simplifying things. If you didn't consider my current job at all, I'd still be applying the same loose criteria, and that is that a job needs to be high profile enough that they'd even consider looking beyond their local area. They don't have to pay my relocation costs, and they don't have to sponsor my visa, they just have to not toss my resume to the side because I'm from Australia and there are already 20 applicants from the Bay Area. I think the only limitation of my current job would be if I actually did get an interview from somebody, and they actually wanted me, but their terms (ie pay) weren't good enough for me. And that's not in a capitalistic way, more in a "Yuppie Nuremberg" kind of way (courtesy of "Thank You For Smoking"- the Yuppie Nuremberg defence is that you're only doing it to pay the mortgage).

I've said it before but there are definitely times where I just don't want to deal with the uncertainty. I'm thinking about holidays in New York, trips to Singapore and Cuba, Jo being here in September- what if I get a job over there in the next couple of months? I still want to go to Singapore, but I'll have a ticket booked from Sydney, and who knows if I'll be able to take holidays at that time. And then I'll be coming back here for my 30th (once again assuming I could get holidays) only a short time after moving over there because Jo has already booked those flights (plus I want to spend my 30th around my friends). I think I could deal better if I just accepted another year of the long-distance relationship, punctuated with all aforementioned cool stuff, and then had Jo home next year.

I know I've been going round and round in circles but I guess that's a pretty accurate reflection of my head at the moment.

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