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2005-02-10 - 1:05 a.m.

I want to thank everybody who still reads my diary, or more to the point still checks regularly to see if I have updated. It seems to be so infrequent that everytime I do write it is a summary of "I did this and I did that" for the last month or so. I really would like to get back inside my head every so often. Or would I? I've always known I overthink things- if I'm finding that when I go to write in here things that were an issue a week ago are no longer things I feel the need to write about then that's a good thing right? I suppose the fact is that I still do overthink, but if said thoughts disappear as quickly as they appear then I'm making progress.

Incidentally I'm not talking about anything in particular, just my generic thought processes. I guess if they're things like fights with Jane then it's better for me to be at a point where it's no longer an issue when I come to write in here. The biggest problem I seem to have when Jane and I fight is that usually for her it's related to her being tired and cranky, and five minutes later she is completely over it, but I turn things over in my head for a lot longer. Or resent it when something comes completely out of leftfield due to tiredness as it's essentially making her feel better and making me feel worse (from the point of view of her getting something out of her system and moving on while for me it's just got into my system when she says/ does it and I'm starting to dwell on it just when it's no longer an issue for her).

Ah it's all coming back to me now. The sad fact is that when I get inside my head it's no more insightful than what I've been doing all month. Hell, when I compare talking about thought processes that have been with me since I was 16 to talking about something that I'll probably never do again like eating at Tetsuya's maybe I should stick to the chronicalling.

So going back to the last thing I wrote, which was in fact dinner at Tetsuya's. I don't think I did anything spectacular during the following cycle at work, until we get to my last night shift, which turned into another big night which sprang out of nowhere. Jane was having dinner with Phoebe and Mark, and I came by after work (read about 12.30am). After a beer or so Mark and I decided the Townie was in order, Phoebe decided bed was in order (we were at her house) and Jane agreed with Phoebe, so I drove the car back to our place, saw Jane off to bed and proceeded to *arrive* at the Townie at about 1.45am. I was going to signal last drinks around 3am as I had a very busy next couple of days lined up, but then we ran into a friend (who we met at one of our last big nights out) and ended up looking for a pub that stayed open past 5.30am. Yes, even the Imperial was closed.

After about 4 hours sleep I was off looking at houses (or just one apartment to be precise) and then driving down to Thirroul to catch up with my Unifriends. Apart from being somewhat hungover it was a good afternoon- all of the gang that were in the country were there (and some that weren't in the sense that the occasion was that my friend Cathy was over from the UK). There was Cathy and her boy, Jody and her boy, Julie, Cristan, Liz, Birch and his boy, Jane and myself. It was also a very hot afternoon and Jody has a pool so that was nice. We also unwisely stuffed ourselves full of sandwiches and snack food despite having to back up at my parents house for a belated birthday dinner for my brother. Since I left home there hasn't been a time that Jane and I have gone round for dinner and Dad hasn't conjured up an enormous banquet. That night, as my brother- the infidel- is not a fan of curry, we had a mammoth feast of seafood. Prawns, scallops, bugs, fish, mussells, and pasta (okay so I've never seen a school of spaghetti swimming amongst the coral either but I still mintain it was a feast of seafood).

I also got a random SMS from Annie as I was driving from Thirroul to my parents house saying she was introducing her friend to the Beatles on vinyl, so I guess that kind of showed that we're still where we were when we last made contact. Comfortable sharing things that make us think of each other, without feeling like we owe each other a real friendship or something.

Okay so after the seafood and wine feast and a game or two of 500 Jane and I stayed at my parents place. The next day we went for a fateful trip to Ikea (with Phoebe in tow, keen for a reason not to have to catch up with Mark's ex). I was so excited by the prospect of buying a filing cabinet and actually feeling organised (and not having papers strewn all over the house).

An excellent plan with only a few minor drawbacks. One, as Ikea is all "build-your-own", making a filing cabinet involved buying a base, the basic shell, the sliding bracket bits and the drawer fronts. One of the drawer fronts was missing the necessary bit to connect it to the drawer. Two, the second drawer front had it's "bits", but when put together it was out of alignment, so that the drawer didn't go all the way in. Three, when I decided "fuck it, I'm buying suspension files, getting organised an fixing these problems later" I discovered that standard suspension files (you know the ones that constitute about 95% of suspension files you'll ever see, the ones which are slightly longer than A4 so you can file both A4 and foolscap if you so desire) do not fit in my new purchase- the only ones that fit are the A4 ones that you buy from- you guessed it- Ikea.

I still haven't 100% decided whether I'm going to return the whole damned thing and get my money back or make all the necessary adjustments. Bastards.

So after a crazy couple of days, that's how I spent my last day off- putting together a piece of furniture that gave me none of that "I've finally done it and now I can start using it" satisfaction. Bastards.

Struggling to remember what I did apart from work in my next six-days. I know on Wednesday I went to the Rose for Eegs' birthday. Had Thai for dinner beforehand, and for once actually left when Jane did- ie before the end. Ah yes, the night before I caught up with my work buddy Nathan who I rarely get to socialise with owing to us being on different shifts. This particular evening he was on days off and I worked 6am-3pm, so I got home, got changed, was at the Townie by about 4.30pm and didn't get home until about 11pm. Jane joined us and we had Vietnamese for dinner somewhere on King St. Thursday (we're up to 20/1 now) Jane and I went to see "The Black Rider"- a musical featuring the music of Tom Waits and the libretto (that's the speaking outside of the songs for anyone who's wondering) of William S. Burroughs. It was part of the Sydney Festival. Very good, but I was so tired it made it difficult to fully appreciate (the same can be said of the Leonard Cohen tribute which I'll get to when I get there chronologically). And it absolutely poured on us on the way home.

From memory my 3 afternoon shifts (21/1-23/1) consisted of a couple of well deserved sleep ins and one morning of looking at apartments. I think Jane is very keen to find "our place" soon, whereas I'm more or less happy for it to take as long as it takes. We look when we can (generally Saturdays when I'm on days off or mornings) and we don't want to settle for anything less than a place that screams "buy me or you'll regret it". We haven't found that place yet.

I might leave it there for now (it is 2am after all). Stay tuned for Australia Day BBQ antics and more nights that became mornings, including my very first bucks night.

 

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