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2004-04-30 - 7:30 p.m.

Here's something I wrote a couple of days ago in my room in Tokyo- consider it a "Memento" style account of my trip- I'll eventually work my way back to the day I left...



It's 6.10am. Who would have thought I'd ever be up at this time when I didn't have to be? True, I've been in bed since 5pm last night (and had an hour nap before 4pm), and the day I arrived here I slept from 3pm-9pm and then again from midnight to to this time yesterday.

So maybe I'm catching up on sleep. I don't know that jetlag affects me per se because my sleeping patterns are never really normal. It's certainly not that I'm still on Paris time because that would equate to sleeping to 10am-11pm and being up all night.

Anyway, this is it- my last day overseas. In 24 hours time I should be going through customs in Sydney. I moved my flight forward a day because I'm just over it really. I've always loved Japan but I'm not motivated to do this on my own anymore. I've got a chest cold (hopefully all trace of the head cold will be gone before the final descent into Sydney), it was raining all of yesterday, and I just can't wait to see Jane again.

Part of me will always do the irrational envy thing that Jane had an awesome time over here because she had a friend living here (Japan, not Tokyo) and therefore someone t go out with and get drunk with and sing Karaoke with and all the things I would have liked to have done- but the truth is that I don't want to do any of that stuff *now* anyway. At the beginning of my trip maybe. But even if I could have met like-minded people downstairs in the common room here I'm just not up for it now.

I've experienced the travelling by myself thing now. Hypothetically it was so great an experience that I'd love to do it again- but not with somebody waiting for me back home. Travelling solo doesn't have the same meaning when you are not solo. I didn't realise I'd miss her quite *this* much- and that's certainly not a comment on how much I knew I loved her, just the idea of me off having the time of my life- I figured there would be a lot more unevenness on the scale of who was missing who more. But I don't think there was you know.

Yes we all know I wish I'd done the solo traveller thing while I was single, and truth be told I think that even then after 6 weeks I'd be getting a little homesick, but as I'm not single I've done all that I physically and emotionally can on my own and I want to get home to her.

I don't wish she'd been here the *whole* time- we both knew this was something I needed to do, but I know I missed her more than I didn't, if that makes sense.

"Now I'm going home- I've been away too long"


"Home, where my love lies waiting silently for me"

Simon and Garfunkel- 'Homeward Bound'


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