2003-10-22 - 4:44 p.m.

I'm going to write an entry before I go down to Melbourne if it kills me...

I'm so all over the place that it's not funny. Work is alternately stressing me out and making me feel proud of myself, I still can't work my head out when it comes to not dealing well with the past and I think I'm overly hypersensitive to completely harmless things Jane says to me.

I can't get my thoughts straight enough to write properly. I think I need to concentrate on my pen-and-paper diary for a while and use that to gather my thoughts for here. I still see this somewhat as a creative outlet, albeit a lot more of a personal one than I first thought it would be, so I don't like talking in cirlces and not making sense the way I do in my other diary sometimes. Don't be surprised if I disappear for a few weeks and come back with a spate of entries adapted from my other diary.

Everything's fine really- what I said about overreacting to stuff Jane says (hmmm, there's a song in that)is in no way indicative of things not being as they were between us- I'm just confused as to what I am thinking, why I keep having blah moments, why I feel hypersensitive- I need to sort my head out before I can write anything.

What it comes down to is just a bad case of writers block really.

I just can't work out why I'm such a fucking girl.

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