2003-07-17 - 9:06 p.m.

So I sent Annie an email saying "Happy Birthday", and after thinking about it briefly, used "love" to sign my name. I got an email back within a minute saying "Thanks :)", so I decided it was probably okay to ring her.

It was pretty clear she was more uncomfortable than I was and didn't want to talk to me, but she answered my questions (eg "what have you got planned for your birthday?", "how's your Mum?" etc) and asked me how I was. We probably spoke for 5 minutes, if that, but I came out of it feeling like we had something workable. Not a friendship, but something where we could be in the same room at the same time and not just ignore each other (well, she'd try but I'd say hi and be confident the whole thing wouldn't be *too* upsetting), and something whereby if for whatever reason I wanted to call or email her, the worst I'd get is just plain being ignored, as opposed to psychotic accusations.

I think I can say that I've dealt or am dealing well with the fact that our friendship doesn't exist anymore. I'm not pretending otherwise and I'm not trying to get it back. But it's nice to know we can still have a civil conversation, if strained and uncomfortable.

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