2003-07-14 - 7:24 p.m.

I've had a good weekend. Not the same kind of good weekend as last weekend mind you :P

On Monday I had my first 7.30am start- the first day of my Project position. The problem with starting the position last week was that two of the people I have to get work from were on leave, the lab was short-staffed so I was doing my old job most of the time anyway, and I couldn't get any momentum going because now I'm on leave until next Thursday. It was starting to get me down by Wednesday. Jane was as always unchanged in her optimism and belief of me and it really helped.

Work issues aside I had another low day sometime during the week when I came to the conclusion that I was destined never to be completely satisfied no matter how good I had it, and that I didn't know how to stop thinking too much and dwelling on the unimportant past.

But right now I'm feeling incredibly optimistic and in control of my life.

Okay so here's where I give you a rundown of my weekend...

Friday night, after a 6am-3pm day at work (and with another one lined up for Saturday, my sixth morning in a row thanks to the fact that work had no-one else, so my shift days don't finish until I come back from leave) I had dinner with my Unifriends at one of their houses (Andrew in fact- that's the friend, not the house). Jane was at Something For Kate, I tried to get tickets as soon as I found out I wouldn't be working that night anymore due to going off shift, but it was sold out. I got depressed about it at the time, not about missing SFK so much as feeling like I didn't know what to do with myself on a Friday night when Jane had other plans, and feeling pathetic, but in hindsight it was a blessing. It was comforting to know that Jane and I could have good nights apart from each other, and when I got the rundown of SFK I wasn't in the least bit jealous because spending time with my Unifriends was important. On top of that Jane ended up going out afterwards with her brother and her friends Mark and Marty, and I think it was important that she was there without me because she had some things to sort out with Mark.

So on Saturday after work I went around to Jane's and she took me out to dinner before we headed to a party one of her friends was having. I guessed where she was taking me during the week, and I was right, and was really happy that I guessed right because it was such a me thing and somewhere she knew I really wanted to go. We went to a huge Japanese restaurant (ironically the same place that I met Ellie 3 years ago, but back then it was Indian)- I've had Teppanyaki before but not been to a "normal" Japaneses restauant (I guess over here Teppanyaki is the norm if you're having Japanese, but I wanted the Sashimi plate, and the Sukiyaki, and trying weird stuff that would make other people screw up their faces like octopus dumplings and ox tongue that you cook at the table. And a reasonably amount of Sake. Which, when added to the 2/3 of a bottle of vodka I had at the party, meant that I was very drunk by the end of the night.

The party was in Cremorne (on the North Shore), a 10 minute ferry ride from Circular Quay, great views (either her or my friend Emma *have* to have a New Year's Eve party), and I really like Jane's friends. The only downside of the night was me acting like an obnoxious 5 year old for a while when I was drunk (shut up Ellie I'm not *always* like that when I'm drunk), but on the whole it was good- I got talking to one of the flatmates' boyfriend who was great value- it's always nice to meet new people and have amusing drunken conversations with them.

We stayed there the night, then lazed around there the next morning in more beautiful blue skyed winter weather. Jane and I went for a walk for about an hour, we stuck around because one of Jane's friends who had been in Ireland for the last couple of years was coming over with her one year old, and then in the evening caught the ferry back, had Paella, Chorizo and Sangria at a Spanish Bistro and went back to Jane's place and had a relatively early night after some of our usual night-time pastimes.

Today I had to myself, and it was nice. I think spending time outdoors just doing nothing is my way of meditating and might be the solution to my constant overthinking, dwelling and psychobabbling. Or at least I hope it might be.

I bought some vinyl, the new Eels CD, a chicken roll swimming with fresh chilli and a Coke and sat by myself in everyone's favourite park for 45 minutes, watching the friends, couples, dogs and pigeons.

I drove home thinking I was going to stay on a roll and clean my room, but I ended up doing something even better for myself (well, I did open the curtains and windows and get some fresh air into my room)and went for a brisk walk around my suburb (and across the bridge, leaving myself open to the dangers of being outside the Shire for a good 20 minutes) for about an hour- would have been at least 5kms.

Now I'm listening to a random selections of songs by artists playing at Splendour next week and getting very excited.

This one's optimistic.

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