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2003-06-25 - 12:57 a.m.

Friday night was a bit of a mixed bag for me.

On one hand I had to deal with at least two upsetting situations, but on the other hand I felt like both were things I had to do, conversations and encounters that had to be had. I felt good for having confronted the situations, and as upsetting as they were they didn't ruin my night. Putting all that aside I still got to hang out with my pals and drink cocktails and the like.

But there was a few things I had to do. One was talk to Cindy. The other...

Annie was there on Friday night.

She was downstairs, we were upstairs, but she was there. And we could have easily gone the whole night and avoided her but I wasn't going to let that happen.

Among the people we had cocktails with was Sally, one of Jane's oldest friends and her ex-flatmate. Sally has moved over New Zealand for at least a year, but was back in town for a week. This was always going to mean that Jane would be forced to see Annie, because no amount of bad blood was going to get between Jane and her Sal. But it was clearly going to be hard for Sally, having two of her close friends not on speaking terms. Jane knew this all too well, as Mark (who was also there on Friday night) and Annie used to be the same.

I was forewarned that Annie would be at the Townie later. As we walked from cocktails to the townie, past Annie's street, Sally left to meet Annie. When I saw Sally going to the bar later at the Townie but heading downstairs instead of coming over to where Jane and the rest of us were, I knew what the situation was.

Jane went down there first, with Chris (I've previously called him Carl but that seems a bit silly at the moment). Annie wouldn't look at her. I went down after they returned. She wouldn't look at me either. We exchanged uncomfortable hellos, and I thought "fuck this, I'm sitting down at their table and dealing with this", but she wouldn't look at me. I started to get a little upset, as she deliberately talked to everyone else at the table (including Mark, which is a huge issue for Jane, who is his best friend, and someone that Annie gave her hell for still being friends with when she wasn't), but eventually her friend Mungo broke the ice by saying...

"So, this whole you and Annie not talking bullshit, what's all that about?"

I could have kissed him :) Not that it sorted anything out, but it made it easier to stay at the table to prove something to myself and her, and I would have if it wasn't for the fact that I was concerned for Jane, in that she was upstairs and her three closest friends were downstairs with Annie.

I was okay on Friday night. Jane was really upset because Annie, Sally, Mungo and Mark up and left without any of them saying goodbye to her. Mark in particular because he is her best friend and knew all about how hard that week was going to be for her, but I guess he wasn't willing to risk Annie's newfound acceptance of him. Her and Mark were once as close as her and I were so I guess in a way I understand, but it's too late for that sort of thing now. I would never give the people that have actually shown they care about me the cold shoulder just because Annie decided I was worthy of her attention again. And as for Sally, Jane knows exactly what it feels like to be in her position after the whole Mark and Annie situation last year, and she knows it's hard, but she thought that Sally making the effort to tell her she was going would have been nice, seeing as she wasn't going to see her again before she returned to New Zealand.

Too many people are being hurt by people that deep down care about them. I can't stop myself being hurt, but all I can do is try not to hurt anyone. There's been too much of that already.


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