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2003-04-29 - 8:45 p.m.

I got in trouble from Ellie for not keeping her (and my diary) up to date with an important progression in Jane and my relationship.

She was the first to say "I love you", very much masked in a joking way there was no denying the importance of those words. We were mucking around and I was exhibiting my usual insane and surreal humour, and I must have said something like "you think I'm mad don't you?"

A brief pause and then very quickly, so as to sound casual... "yeah-but I love ya anyway".

It was after we went out for cocktails and dinner with my Unifriends about a month ago that I brought it up again. This time we may have been talking about our best friends in Mark and Ellie. Or something. And I was very drunk. I knew what I wanted to say but I was trying to get a good segue.

"You know you're one of my best friends as well?" Meaning she was one of my best friends as well as being my girlfriend moreso than as well as my other best friends.

"I know. And you're one of my best friends too."

"...and I don't have a problem telling any of my other best friends that I love them..." I can't remember if I actually said it in three words that night or not, but my intention was clear.

We talked about it probably at least a week later, maybe by then we'd started writing it in emails without any dressing. She told me how happy it made her when I said what I did when I was drunk, and that she's been wanting to say it for 10 days or something, but every time she tried to she just didn't know how.

We're making up for lost time. And it's really lovely.


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