2003-02-28 - 1:50 p.m.

It's the last day of summer today. I have to go to work soon but for some reason I thought I should write because it's the last day of summer. I don't know if it's the weather, or the festivities, or the association with lots of holidays but summer always seems to take on a greater significance than all the other seasons. In that when you get to the end of summer you reflect back and ask yourself if you had a good summer, did you have a full/busy summer, a worthwhile summer, did you go to the beach enough? You don't ask yourself if you had a good autumn do you?

When I think about it the latest set of crises with Annie pretty much started with the summer. The last time I really feel like I was there for Annie the way I used to be was late November. Stuff had been happening between Jane and I for over a month at that stage and it was clear that Annie had a few issues with it, but until late November I still felt like I could be there for her. It was then that she really started pushing both Jane and myself away.

This summer was Jane and I. It started in mid-October, but it was December that saw Jane inviting me to her work Christmas party, us regularly being seen places together, noticing a changing dynamic and having a series of "what-exactly-are-we?" conversations, kissing her in public on New Year's Eve (in front of Carl as well who was the last person she had any sort of feelings for so for her to be okay with that it showed me things were progressing). Early January saw us officially together, and things are all feeling warm and fuzzy at the moment.

I am the sort of person who tends to over-analyse, dwell on the past and place too much significance on things like "did I do enough in summer", "did I do enough in High School", "have I lived too much of a sheltered life". For the most part there will be no need for me to go over this summer and wonder what I should have done differently.

It's all good with me.

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