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2003-02-08 - 11:33 p.m.
"What else do I write? Everything's alright."
'All Apologies' - Nirvana
That's kind of saying that while I'm keen to write frequently, as much as a creative outlet as a chronicle of my life (see my first ever entry), when I sit down here I'm not sure what to say. And maybe it's because things are good at the moment. All the best literature, poetry and music seems to be born of angst or drugs, and while I've always been straight, this is of those not so common (which is not to say they are uncommon) times when I can say without hesitation that I'm happy.
At least- I'm happy with my personal life, I know that much. Plus things are great with two of my three best friends. I went out with one of them last night, and got a call from another today which made me feel a lot more confident about her happiness- things may be far from ideal but under the given circumstances today was a major breakthrough for her :)
I wish everything was fine with Annie, but I guess two out of three aint bad. I'm not saying things aren't okay with Annie and I (or Annie and Jane for that matter)- I think it's once again a matter of adjusting to new dynamics for all of us, and while it's a rocky road it could be going worse- it's more that things haven't been fine with Annie herself for a long time, and I wish I could see that changing.
On another note, it's ironic that saying "I love you" has been so easy in the past, but it's always caused contention. With Jane it seems the more I'm convinced that it's true, the more afraid I am to say it.