2003-01-07 - 12:24 a.m.

Right, I'm going to put myself on the spot and think of some New Year's Resolutions....

1. To be more aware and responsible with my finances. I am in a well paying job, living with my parents yet I still don't seem to be saving all that much. I am a bit of a pushover when eg my brother says "I need money". The first part of my plan is to breakdown my earnings and expenses on a monthly basis and look at what I should be putting away. Next will be looking at opening award saver/ term deposit accounts, then at what my long term plans are for what I am (hopefully) saving- either a deposit on an apartment, a big holiday, whatever.

2. To maintain my car in good working order. Wash it regularly, service it at the very least every six months, get the air conditioning fixed while I'm still going to appreciate the difference, check the tyre pressure, oil and fluid levels- all that blokey stuff that I'm really bad at.

3. To stay exclusive to Jane as long as our relationship keeps heading in the direction that it is. Okay she's said she's not ready to call it anything defined, and technically I'm allowed to see other people but if I'm the one that is currently okay with it progressing further then I shouldn't be hypocritical and take advantage of the fact that we're not there yet. She runs from this sort of thing- I should be giving her a reason not to.

4. To not let myself get walked on by anyone. This mainly applies to the volatile relationship that I have with Annie. There are days when everything is fine but there are other days when she treats me like crap. I accept that she is like that, it is an illness (though that doesn't excuse everything), and by accepting Annie as a friend I am accepting what she's like, but I'm not going to get walked all over. We had to fight to get to the point we are at now, and I'll fight for it again if I have to, because it means that much to me. But I won't accept her writing me off and then coming back as if nothing was ever wrong.

5. To continue to be seen in a position of responsibility and independence at work. To complete all the items on my stewardship plan, to fall into their definition of a "high performer" and to end the year with a genuine opportunity for an upgrade come next year.

6. To give serious consideration to moving out of home again- this time for good. I really have nothing to complain about living here, but let's face it- I'm 25 and it's time to move on. I see myself buying a place around here in the long run, but I'm thinking maybe I'd like to live in the inner west for a little while- it's been such an important part of my life for the last 2 years, I'd like to say I've tried living there.

7. To keep writing, whether it be in here or in my "pen-and-paper diary" (I suspect the former will prevail- nowadays my other diary is reserved for matters of such confidence that I'm not okay with writing them here, even with the protection of the relative anonymity of all parties concerned.

8. To make a serious attempt to learn the guitar, and to continue with my piano playing, maybe trying to improve my technical skills while I'm at it.

9. To not lose contact with any of my friends, or lose any friends. The latter would mainly apply to Annie, in the former case I'd like to maintain the status quo with my Uni and High School friends (perhaps be a bit less slack even), and to stay as close as I am to Ellie and Cindy regardless of how serious things get with Jane.

10. To be more organised in general. This goes for keeping my room clean, filing bank statements, bills, receipts etc, keeping track of any paperwork from work, just all that sort of stuff.

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So there you go. Doesn't mean if I think of something in a week or a month or three it can't be a random resolution. I just like to do the New Year's Resolution thing because anytime is a good time for change, and a change is as good as a holiday.

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