2002-12-13 - 7:05 p.m.

Jane got it spot on when she said "I need some space from Annie but then she won't let me back in".

I'm not going to call her if she's going to treat me like crap. But then she comes up with some audacious bullshit like I'm only being her friend when it suits me. When I feel like I can spare five minutes of my time. Fuck that- I've given her hours, days... I've given her almost two years of my life. At least I had the nerve to tell her that the last time I spoke to her. That the only reason I don't call her every single day is because I don't know which side of her I'm going to find- and the fact is I have feelings too.

So I am forced to take the attitude that if she wants to talk to me then *she'll* call *me*. There's no point me calling her when she's like this. But I don't want to wait and see when she wants me to be her friend because I'm afraid of what I might find out.

In other news I went to Jane's departmental Christmas party last night. It was in a park on the North Shore, right on the Harbour- nice. Back at her place I asked her the following question:

"Do you have a problem with the obvious assumptions that people were making tonight?"

She said something about it being a bit freaky and if one more person asked how we met she might have screamed (neither of us were really in the mood to be talking about Annie after our respective dealings with her yesterday) and kind of left it at that. Then after a short pause she asked me "do you have a problem with it?" I told her I didn't think I did. I also made a point of saying that things had changed in my mind a lot over the last month- just in case she assumed that I was blindly in love with Annie and just using her for sex.

I don't think either of us have worked out exactly what we are at the moment but I think I like whatever it is.

�

previous - next

�