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2002-08-16 - 5:40 p.m.

It's a curious little world I've wandered into.

I talked of feeling trapped in a circle, an intensely close-knit group of people, all of us feeling as if there was nothing sacred, as if it was all part of the circle.

In the last week I think we've all pushed at the edges a bit, changed shape, maybe now it is just an amorphous mass waiting to take shape.

Yet we've all somehow found ourselves here, and we're all reading each others thoughts. It's somewhat bizarre but something I'm comfortable with. The difference is that there can be no resentment here for the fact that everything I'm saying has become public knowledge, and vice versa, and vice versa. It's an "enter at own risk" kind of deal, anything I say can't and wont be used against me, to turn our basic legal rights onto their heads. We all find ourselves leaving little messages in here intended for others to read, but they're often not spoken of.

And through this little community I've all of a sudden become closer than I ever was to an old friend with whom contact has been far between for the last couple of years. I've always thought her and I were fairly like-minded, and I can really relate to some of the stuff she's been saying. So I just wanted to say thank you for being there, and for being outside the circle.

Having said that, I think I'm ready to venture back inside to some exent- but like a child entering the shallow end of a swimming pool. I love these people dearly and I'm not about to walk away from them. It's not a circle anymore but my own custom built shape. And I can't tell you what it is because it's always changing.

 

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