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2002-08-12 - 6:32 p.m.

Yesterday was one of those days that made you feel good to be alive. Twenty-Five degrees in the middle of August (and I live with the celcius scale in the southern hemisphere so that's pretty damn good). In my daily game of cat-and-mouse with my alarm clock I pounced on it- there is something satisfying about waking yourself up and actually feeling like you half want to get out of bed when it's 5am.

I arrived at work with a spring in my step and a smile on my face. This is either viewed as absurd or entirely normal in my line of work- depending on which way you look at it. Sometimes all you can do is laugh when you're supposed to be productive while the Sun is still getting to work.

"Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer"

Although it felt more like Spring. And I love Spring. Spring is seen as a time of change, a time of new life as the flowers bloom and the warmth creeps back into your life. Spring is t-shirt weather, but it's not so hot that you curse public decency laws for making you endure fabric against your perspiring skin.

I felt like change was in the air. On the weekend I had been on a trip outside the circle, and it felt good- so amazingly liberating. Yet I was bursting to write to those inside the circle, and share what a fucking brilliant day it was. I felt like going home and opening my windows and playing Beatles records.

Yesterday was also two years since probably the most significant event in my life to date. I was reminded of this when I received a email from a friend (whom I am very lax in my correspondence with) thanking me for being just that- a friend, and someone who believed in her and has been there for her over the last two years, even though I don't always felt like I have been. It had been two years since the day since I met her. It had also been two years to the day since she had met her boyfriend, and two years to the day since I had met my ex-girlfriend.

I facilitated all of this by organising a meeting of over thirty people whom had been writing to via the media of an email discussion list, but most of whom I had never met. It was the most incredible feeling, realising I could do that- and that I was responsible for the development of so many friendships, in particular one very good platonic friendship between two people who had not met before that night (two actually when you take into account the friendship I forged with Lisa, the girl who emailed me) and two relationships.

That night is a reference point for the rest of my life. My cirlce of friends (for which sometimes I feel equally cursed and blessed :) indirectly evolved from that night. So how do I go about seeking life outside the circle?

My ex-girlfriend was the one who reminded of this day last year- with a message reading "Happy Anniversary" more or less. That felt a little strange seeing as I had broken up with her a week earlier. But this year I wanted to remind her of the day. The Wheel had come full circle.

Then it came off the rails again and I was reminded why I want to break free.

 

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